HEART BREAK

She sat quietly in the cab as the driver slowly waded his way through Port Harcourt traffic. The only thing quiet about her at that moment was her physical appearance. Deep inside her a war raged. Her heart was beating twice as fast as its usual rate while her thoughts raced even faster.

After a couple of futile tries to engage her in a conversation, the driver gave up and instead turned up the volume of the radio. Suddenly Michael Bolton’s voice wafted through the speakers as he chimed his all-time classic How Am I Supposed To Live Without You. She opened her mouth to ask him to turn it off; not just because she wanted to be left to her thoughts, she also didn’t want anything that would aggravate the pains she was already feeling. But she thought better of it. If there were any songs that could describe how she felt, this would no doubt be one of them. And even though the song was written almost a decade before she was born, it felt comforting that someone understood what she was going through.

As the second verse came on, she laid her head back, shut her eyes as she tried to internalize the words; “I’m too proud for crying, didn’t come here to break down. Just the dream of mine is coming to an end.”

She found herself repeating the words to herself. ‘I won’t cry. I am not going there to breakdown. I am stronger than this’. 

It seemed like just yesterday he was singing Johnny Drille’s Romeo and Juliet to her. His ringtone for her was Billy Ocean’s Suddenly. And now she wondered how they went from promising each other forever to the point where he felt they had irreconcilable differences and weren’t compatible anymore.

 She was lost in those thoughts until a tap on the window brought her out of the reverie. She turned and saw a hawker holding up sunglasses toward her. They were at Rumuola junction which was notorious for traffic and rude hawkers. She just wasn’t in the mood so she just waved him off. On a second thought she wined down the window and called the hawker. The moment he got there he began advertising his wares.

“Madam see this one go fit you. Na original Rey Ban.” The hawker said.

She picked the glasses and looked at it. Boldly inscribed on the side of the frame was ‘ROY BEN.’

She rolled her eyes at the manufacturers’ poor attempt at imitating the original thing.  There are few things she disliked as much as buying things in the traffic. Not only were most of the commodities cheap and substandard, there was no one to complain or return the commodities when someone was wrong. However, the quality was the least thing on her mind. She was hoping that the meeting would turn out well, but she also knew she had to prepare for worst. No matter how much she willed herself to be strong, she knew there was a big chance that her emotions would fail her. And when that happened, she needed the glasses to hide her teary eyes behind.

“How much?” She asked. 

“Madam na 3K last. But as you be fine girl, I go give you for N2,500.”

She reached into her purse and brought out N500 note and give it to him without saying a word. After protesting for a while the hawker took the money and grumbled as he walked away; “Madam you harsh oh! You no even say make you add something on top.”

She put the dark glasses in her bag. Hoping she wouldn’t have need for it. Even though she knew she was hoping against hope.

As the cab pulled into the parking lot of the place that has been their rendezvous, her heart skipped several beats. Stepping into the lounge; she felt lightheaded as a sudden gush of trepidation washed over her. But she managed to smile at the irony. The same place where they had some of the best moments in their relationship was the place where she would probably see him for the last time. She bit her lower lip hard, which was the only thing she could do to keep herself from crying.

She wondered if she was doing the right thing. His attitude had changed over the last four weeks. He no longer called. Even when she called him, his response was always cold. He kept telling her there was nothing wrong until last week when she chatted him up and had pressed him until he opened up and told her he wanted to end the relationship. The reasons he gave didn’t make sense to her. So she had insisted on meeting him face-to-face; with any luck they could sort it out. But if they couldn’t, (which was most likely going to be outcome), she hoped at least to get a closure.

She smelled his perfume before she saw him. She felt all the air drain from her body as the door opened and she saw his slim six foot frame step through the door. He was not the most handsome, he had neither broad shoulders nor ripped muscles, but he took her breath away every single time. She adored him to even the very ground he walked on. 

Instinctively she got to her feet. She could hear her broken heart palpitate like it would burst out of her chest any minute. Her face lit up as she stared into his hazel eyes. His caramel skin shone against the dim lights of the room. But the smile disappeared just as quick as it had formed. The look on his face wiped away any hope she had for a seemingly positive outcome.

Just at that moment she saw her worst nightmare come to reality. 

She couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.